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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
September 19, 2012 – Toronto, ON - ByoLogyc, in conjunction with Health Canada, has completed studies which have revealed conditions suggestive of a viral outbreak in the Greater Toronto Area. Initial reports, though still early, have indicated a connection between the root cause of the viral outbreak and ByoRenew. Despite recent complications with the HPFB, Health Canada will continue to work with ByoLogyc to aid and assist customer and civilian alike.
Early analysis of collected samples indicates the discovery a new virus, known as BRX. External and internal reviews of ByoLogyc’s systems indicate BRX to be a variant of the transfer virus distributed in ByoRenew pills. These reviews further indicate that BRX was produced as a result of a network-based attack on ByoLogyc’s production infrastructure in late June by an online terrorist organization, suggesting that this organization may have maliciously generated and sought to spread this virus using ByoRenew as a vector.
At this time, ByoLogyc is pursuing legal action against the online terrorist organization, known as EXE, for online invasion and violation of the intellectual property rights of ByoLogyc. We are currently working with both the Toronto Police force as well as the RCMP in the pursuit of justice.
In case of city wide medical emergency, ByoLogyc is prepared and committed to helping the Toronto City Council in both containment and sanitation. To this end, ByoLogycs SCD (Sanitation and Containment Division) stands ready to protect the population.
As a precaution, ByoLogyc will be running a FREE Public Health and Community Wellness Clinic on September 29, at the Church of the Holy Trinity, in conjunction with Scotiabank Nuit Blanche. By holding the Clinic at this time, we hope to reach a wide section of the population and maximize its impact. Visitors to the Clinic will receive a free ByoRenew 2.0 primer pill, which has been custom designed to act as an early-stage vaccine against BRX.
For more information, please contact Marie Leclerc, PR Director at ByoLogyc, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Due to the high volume of inquiries we receive daily, we would like to provide you with the answers to frequently asked questions:
Should I panic?
Absolutely not. Test results from joint studies by Health Canada and ByoLogyc indicate that BRX has low-grade symptoms and low transmissibility. Though symptoms are wide ranging, victims may only experience personality distortion, blurry vision, a craving for high calorie food items, and fatigue.
What is the SCD?
The Sanitation and Containment Division of ByoLogyc is a newly formed department with the singular mandate of ensuring that the BRX outbreak is contained, and effects on members of the public are minimized. ByoLogyc is diverting substantial resources to this operation. The SCD is headed by Renata Reinger, who has been with ByoLogyc since 1992. As the former Chief Custodian, her expertise with chemical and biological containment, as well as superior knowledge of closed and open environment contaminations are assets that ByoLogyc wishes to utilize to their fullest potential.
What is EXE?
EXE is an online terrorist organization which disrupted production at ByoLogyc and is believed to have caused the manufacture and distribution of the BRX virus, using ByoRenew as a vector. They are also believed to have repeatedly accessed and disseminated to the public sensitive materials and documents. Despite sometimes referring to themselves as ByoLeaks, they have no association with ByoLogyc.
ByoLogyc Inc. is a fictional pharmaceutical biotechnology firm, and the central component of an interactive theatrical production being executed by ZED.Toronto and TheMission.biz. There is no viral outbreak. Unless you consider a large fanbase and audience enthusiastically enjoying the experience a viral outbreak of excitement!
Scotiabank Nuit Blanche is an annual all-night event that takes place in Toronto featuring contemporary art exhibits and productions throughout the streets of downtown Toronto.
ByoLogyc will be there, attempting to stop the spread of the BRX virus.
Will you be there to accept their proposed remedy of ByoRenew 2.0?
- More info can be found at ScotiabankNuitBlanche.ca
- Press release also available in PDF form
- Join a community participating in ZED.to at the Unfiction forums
Here’s a look back at the VIP launch party from March, earlier this year: